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Thursday, July 20, 2006

Drawbacks of Sensitivity

It's a little embarrassing, but it's been such a source of happiness for me that I'm entertained by so little. It comes from my high sensitivity that I have had all my life. On the other hand, it means I'm much less motivated to work towards something that will hopefully occur some time in the future. This is directly opposite what most people consider to be reasonable adult life.

I think that sensitivity to optional choices expands the more one's sensitivity and awareness expands. Prioritizing has often been agonizing for many because I'm not aware enough of all my own assumptions and how to balance my many conflicting needs. I wonder if that's not what "wisemen" had in mind by keeping their knowledge deliberately obscure - although I admit that it sounds like one good justification for not flaunting what you know. More likely the secretiveness had to do with "rarifying" the information, so that people appreciated it rather than taking the simplicity of wisdom for granted. I imagine that many of the historic "wise men" were lousy teachers, not knowing what to tell people about this problem, so they used this dismissal of a way to ignore questions. Sometimes what is wise is so simple you miss it.

Once you open the pandora's box of the awareness of oneself, there is no going back. So sometimes, it is a relevant question of whether it is better in the longrun to know more, or not. It is often worse in the short run to have gained a little awareness of oneself without any knowledge or example of what to do with the new information.

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