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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Fostering Acquaintanceships

I'm not a loner.

I meet so many people that I want to stay in touch for some reason or another. Have learned that I MUST keep track of this reason, or I will lose the thread that connects me to them. So have learned to write down with their contact information what it is that we talked about or why I should get back in touch with them again.

Great relationships are made and not found. For me, finding people is somewhat like thrift store shopping in that you meet the person and then find a use for them in your life or visa versa. For me, the essence of relationships is reciprocal - doing something for people and accepting what people have to offer me.

Have a sense that the world is filled with people who have something to offer me, and lately more often, the other way - I have something to offer them. So, the trouble is finding out what this offering is, exactly, in the time we have to spend together.

Sometimes, find myself rising to the occasion using an unreliable brand of psychic ability and guessing. It works amazingly well. Somehow I can establish rapport with quite a few people in the world as I run into them, even though people can be so unique and nobody seems to take the time in this era to develop relationships with people.

I think there is a big need for lots of new words describing relationships. There are so many unique relationships in the world that are lumped together under the heading of "friendships, " or "lover-ships," or "acquaintanceships." The traditional words don't really describe the rainbow of subtlety that is there in all those categories.

More on this later....

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Ego and Making Art


My personal experience as a young person was of being someone who had very little identity or ego. I seemed to not be able to put aside my ego/identity because it wasn't formed enough yet to purposefully influence. For me it was almost as if giving up ego was so natural and irresistible, that I was not in control of purposefully suspending it or using my ego - there wasn't much difference I could sense between one action and its "opposite". It wasn't until I could sense what "I" wanted as a separate ability as I gradually developed a sense of self - that I was able to put this ego sense of self aside purposefully.

I believe that, as an artist, suspension of ego "just happens" in the process of being the conduit to the image coming through. Art was my first ability that I spent quite a bit of time doing, so this is probably partly why I had a natural talent to merge and blend and give up ego.

What made it imperative that I develop an ego was to be able to communicate in relationships with people. Previous to that ability being developed, I was very successful in guessing what people wanted me to do and doing it before I realized I was responding to someone else's desires or goals for me. Strangely enough, I would experience their desire as my own - but I was "shape-shifting" as I later decided to call it.

This ability of mine was so exaggerated that it was almost to the point of freaking people out. Because I would "read their mind" successfully without being told in an eerie psychic fashion, showing up at their doorstep unannounced when needed with the right stuff in my hands for helping them, and so forth.

Wow - it's really raining here right now. Sounds like I'm right next to a stream.

In the late seventies, Psychology Today, (an American magazine which is still published) did a survey to find out if the training and schooling that psychologists were getting was actually resulting in "good psychologists." Recent graduates from various programs and universities were interviewed by top psychologists and evaluated for their suitability for the field. Turns out that those people who were trained in art were considered to make the best psychologists by this study.

Having been to art school myself, I can see how this happened. Art makes a person more sane, partly because of a suspended "ego-less" sort of conduit sensation that people commonly experience while making art.

Historic Egolessness Related to Shape-shifting

My personal experience of being someone who had very little identity or ego as a young person. I seemed to not be able to put aside my ego/identity because it wasn't formed enough yet to purposefully influence. For me
it was almost as if giving up ego was so natural and irresistible, that I was not in control of purposefully suspending it or using my ego - there wasn't much difference I could sense between one action and its "opposite". It wasn't until I could sense what "I" wanted as a separate ability as I gradually developed a sense of self - that I was able to put this ego sense of self aside purposefully.

I believe that, as an artist, suspension of ego "just happens" in the process of being the conduit to the image coming through. Art was my first ability that I spent quite a bit of time doing, so this is probably partly why I had a natural talent to merge and blend and give up ego.

What made it imperative that I develop an ego was to be able to communicate in relationships with people. Previous to that ability being developed, I was very successful in guessing what people wanted me to do and doing it before I realized I was responding to someone else's desires or goals for me. Strangely enough, I would experience their desire as my own - but I was "shape-shifting" as I later decided to call it. This ability of mine was so exaggerated that it was almost to the point of freaking people out. Because I would "read their mind" successfully without being told in an eerie psychic fashion, showing up at their doorstep unannounced when needed with the right stuff in my hands for helping them, and so forth.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Now That I'm Situated...

Got a sweet place to live in Honoka'a, which is on the north end of the Big Island - away from the dreadful VOG that is haunting most of the south coast. A really nice person shares the house. There's even a breezy ocean view through the ohia, banana and the Autograph tree!

Hope some of my friends come and visit, now that I have a guest room for them... So - c'mon, fly to Hawaii this summer! Bring a top-sheet or light blanket, it's about 80 degrees daytime, 70 degrees at night...we have a double futon, a massage table or camp cot reserved for you. The house is only a block and a half from "Honoka'a town," which is about the size of Stinson Beach and Bolinas combined. The butcher shop is superb. So is the Farmer's fresh food stand and the Asian food store and the Market. There are two world-class restaurant and a bargain one. A library, a movie theater, a pharmacy, a credit union and bank...and a pool - are all within five blocks from home base. So far I think it's a great place.

Managed to buy a '91 4WD Subaru Legacy station wagon with only 120,000 miles on it for only $1200, which was less than it would have cost to ship and register my own car. Fixed up a free ancient Toshiba laptop so it's functional to get back online by buying some cheap RAM. Got the DSL turned on and it's only a little slower than cable. Ordered the refills for the color printer. Teaching some private lessons in Alexander Technique to nearby astute students. Looking for more work...a "good enough" job would be great.

There's a ten year old "Tortie" kitty Diva who already lives on the property. Her name is "Bizkits" - because her favorite thing to do is to sit in your lap and paw you while she's purring and padding. Kitties aren't allowed inside our house because our landlady is allergic to kitties and has provided these beautiful rugs for us to use. So the cat has learned already to jump up onto this outside porch, sitting and waiting politely for me to come out and pet her each evening when she hears our voices. She is an amazingly sweet kitty who doesn't even call out to announce herself, just waits for me to notice her.

Am about to learn how to SKYPE with the Magic Jack, so I'll let you know about that when I get enough savvy to call you - wherever in the world you are... So let me know your phone number so I can call you for free! You don't even need a SKYPE account - I'll be able to call land lines and even some mobile phones.

Let me know you're there! I'm sort of lonely these days because I don't have many friends yet in Honoka'a.