Fitting the Culture

Yes, sometimes people who don't know me act as if I'm flaunting my freedom. I realize that I would do better for making their fearful reactions go off to turn my intensity levels down a little. But sometimes I just get miffed having to constantly toe the line of a repressed, unaffectionate, confused, dispassionate society.

In Dialogue, a beautiful, talented Latina talked about how she has to hold back her "natural" sensuality, or "natural" expressiveness around the white people so they don't feel intimidated and uncomfortable around her. She asked fascinating questions; "Why shouldn't these hung up, repressed people feel their own uncomfortableness and lack of creativity? Why do I have to put their consideration first and reign in my ability to express myself?" It was quite a rant to be on the other side of. Because I have felt it so often myself with how affectionate I am compared to how my culture never touches each other except as a sexual come-on. For years I've learned to "train" people to allow me to touch them without freaking out.

The reason to "rein myself in" has to be a better and better one to change myself around for the benefit of someone else as I get older. My skill in establishing rapport and bringing hung up people over to my point of view seems to be getting more and more convincing, flexible and artistic. Somehow, I find it working more often in my favor rather than against me.



Now that I've got a working model after thirty years of sorting out a particular subculture, I'm about to change cultures - ironic, isn't it?