Anger is an intense emotion. Anger is an emotion that most people would not really prefer to keep hold of for very long because it results in fight or flight reactions and if kept indefintely, health problems. Comparatively, self-stroking of ego is much more self-deceptive because it is pleasurable.
So - is it possible to actually think, problem solve and come up with something new if you're in the throes of anger or self-involvement?
Perhaps it's the self-deception that is the culprit in itself, not which emotion, pastime or action a person is blighely engaging in?
To relate it to the above, it's coercion itself that seems objectionable to me in this case. Not the subject about which the fascistic application is taking place. If these two are not congruent and the person has forgotten to "Keep their Eyes On the Prize", then you have something such as; "OK everyone, you all there just be having fun now or I will kick your ass!" Or the common parental problem of a distinct lack of imagination, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"
However, my point: With quite a bit of practice, I learned to learn to creatively problem solve while also being angry. It happened because I was challenged to do so repeatedly without the usual characteristic of defensive self-preservation being a feature. If I did it, I know it's possible for others to do.
From this personal experience, I know that it's possible to marry precluding "opposing" characteristics so that having and either/or is not necessary. You can have both, and sometimes you can have it all - up to a point...IF - (and this is the big conditional deal-breaker If,) if you train the skills that are needed to make it happen.
Now I know this is unusual, because in most people, the intensity and the nature of the emotion will shut down the ability to creatively problem solve. People who are angry in this way are similarly blinded to people
who are "masturbating their ego". People can be distracted by being absorbed in any habitual state - emotional, physical, mental. People get distracted by the status quo. They space out and miss stuff they're not anticipating that could be useful, because it's not what they expect.
So - perhaps the ability to STOP, PREVENT, SUSPEND is the crucial one activity that is CRUCIAL to model. Whatever the habit that is in place, in the way of flexbility is the ability to respond to circumstance appropriately.
Granted that "I" "I" "I" "I" "I" "I" is a really strong habit in some people, but there are many strong habits just as important - if not MORE important to suspend as that one. A style of assault coersion is MUCH more dangerous habit than the "I" "I" "I" "I" "I" one.
But I guess the relative importance of it depends on if you have someone around you who is doing one of these that you can't get rid of - it's a little poisonous to have to deal with a person who constantly wants attention who is not a child.
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Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Why Surrender?
We're talking about the idea that, in order to observe, the nature of observation needs to be free of the quality that you are in the act of observing.
I can think of exceptions in my own experience for this statement. Granted, it's tricky to do, but these characteristics are not mutually exclusive. Otherwise how would we use the mind to observe itself? How
would be be able to observe at all if we could not articulate some of the differences that make a difference - no matter if we are trapped within them or not?
Why is being free a prerequisite? The ability to observe, creatively problem solve or to stop or replace a habit that you don't want for whatever reason is a skill. The nature of skills is that these abilities can be learned and sharpened. Granted, it takes practice. Practice is more effective in the context of when and how you would like to use a skill. It takes the capacity to imagine an advantage to go to the trouble of bothering to train the skill.
Now, the next question that begs is: what could be the advantages of surrendering continuous self-referent activity - in that it may even be a pleasurable activity that someone would want to continue?
For me surrendering self-referent activity is a social advantage. I'm able to imagine what someone else might experience and become able to establish rapport and connection with them.
For someone else who is not particularly after personal connection, perhaps this ability might be the ability to act as a channel for art or psychic prediction. The ability to surrender self-reference could mean to the person some sort of livelihood advantage related to the cultivation of a skill.
For instance, if for some reason you thought you might like to surf, it wouldn't do you much good to think that the ocean is out to punish you and how dangerous it is - it's more constructive if you realize that there are factors of balance and skill to uncover that you would need to practice and learn about the nature of what it takes to surf. Of course, you would have never learned to swim because you have to surrender fears generated by self-involvement...unless you have a good teacher.
This implies that there could be an attraction coming from the lack of something - perhaps the ability to turn off repeating nuisances of internal talk that spin someone into depression would be a great advantage? These are the benefits - the payoffs. Different strokes for different folks sorts of things.
I'm sure people could think of more of these - and I'd like to hear 'em.
I can think of exceptions in my own experience for this statement. Granted, it's tricky to do, but these characteristics are not mutually exclusive. Otherwise how would we use the mind to observe itself? How
would be be able to observe at all if we could not articulate some of the differences that make a difference - no matter if we are trapped within them or not?
Why is being free a prerequisite? The ability to observe, creatively problem solve or to stop or replace a habit that you don't want for whatever reason is a skill. The nature of skills is that these abilities can be learned and sharpened. Granted, it takes practice. Practice is more effective in the context of when and how you would like to use a skill. It takes the capacity to imagine an advantage to go to the trouble of bothering to train the skill.
Now, the next question that begs is: what could be the advantages of surrendering continuous self-referent activity - in that it may even be a pleasurable activity that someone would want to continue?
For me surrendering self-referent activity is a social advantage. I'm able to imagine what someone else might experience and become able to establish rapport and connection with them.
For someone else who is not particularly after personal connection, perhaps this ability might be the ability to act as a channel for art or psychic prediction. The ability to surrender self-reference could mean to the person some sort of livelihood advantage related to the cultivation of a skill.
For instance, if for some reason you thought you might like to surf, it wouldn't do you much good to think that the ocean is out to punish you and how dangerous it is - it's more constructive if you realize that there are factors of balance and skill to uncover that you would need to practice and learn about the nature of what it takes to surf. Of course, you would have never learned to swim because you have to surrender fears generated by self-involvement...unless you have a good teacher.
This implies that there could be an attraction coming from the lack of something - perhaps the ability to turn off repeating nuisances of internal talk that spin someone into depression would be a great advantage? These are the benefits - the payoffs. Different strokes for different folks sorts of things.
I'm sure people could think of more of these - and I'd like to hear 'em.
Labels:
assumptions,
change,
ideas,
psychology,
relationships
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